:lightbulb:

I think I'm a rare breed.

I'm not trying to be egotistical or anything but, I think I am. I was in class - popular culture in literature - and we were discussing a film we had watched the previous class. The class differs from semester to semester and the semester I'm in handles war in popular culture. The literature comes in toward the end of the semester as I don't see the printouts we read literature about warfare. They're more about the war movie genre and the American culture.

I digress. We were talking about Sands of Iwo Jima and the scene where the character Conway finds out he is a father. At this point, my professor stops the discussion and asks the class if there are any fathers in there. I have one on the way so, I raise my hand along with this older gentleman. He looked about 45, I looked about my early 20's. Of course, I was singled out by my professor and he asked me whether I was raising my hand because I know of a father or something to that extend. I proclaim, "No, I'm am - will become a father. I just came from the WIC office to this class." At that point, he was surprised and told me to keep some thoughts about the scene as we moved on.

It's hard for me to believe that many people my age are not parents. Let me clarify, I don't think 1 out of 2 men are fathers but, in my high school it wasn't that obscure to see a pregnant girl. But, it is rare for someone like me to be a father. Why? There's no doubt there's a lot of teenage moms but dads? You hear about a guy taking off when he finds out he has a kid on the way. Then there's the one's who do stay with the mom and what do they do? Work to support their kid, right? I'm not. I'm in college learning and helping the mother of my child meet her appointments. I don't know the real reason it's a surprise but it is. I am 22, married, in college, and with a baby on the way. I'd clinch it if I had a job. I'm slowly working on it.

I know a job is important and, I have been trying to find one. I need the money for my baby. But, I can't seem to land one. But, that will not keep me from trying again and again. Although, there will be days like today. I woke up at 7:30 in the morning to take Samantha to the WIC office. Straight from there is class from 10 to 12. I have two hours before my next class where I spend those hours reading what I had to for that next class before I go in at 2. Then, I get out at 4 and head back home. Not only was I not done when I got home, I had to go and get groceries. I finished up at 8 today. I know, I have it easier than most people but, that does not change the fact I am tired from everything I've done today.

I'm going to assume that I will get better at this. Meaning I'll get more stamina for everything. Ah well, another day in my life.